Unnatural
  • a half and half half person half monster
  • Not a character suggestion, but I think it'd be cool if there were some more chances to affect to outcomes of events. Like maybe having the chance to save the cops or something, instead of just always getting there just in time to clean up the mess. I mean, what makes your bullets to the head more effective than theirs anyway?

    As for a character idea: How about the a horror trope?

    Name: Ashley Baker

    Appearance: Female, Caucasian, early 20s, long blond hair, and a build that could modestly be described as curvaceous.

    Personality: Overly concerned with own appearance and weight despite being below average in the latter and above average in the former. Easily confused and frightened, but also not very perceptive to dangerous situations. Quite charming when she tries to be.

    Skills: Skilled at social manipulation, good physical agility/flexibility and memory for inane sports team cheers, lack of perceptiveness often leads apparent fearlessness subverted when she finally realizes the danger.

    Background: Ashley grew up a privileged only child sent to public high school only because of her parents' miserly tendencies. In the social insanity of that place, she rose to about the highest point her life was likely to reach as head cheerleader. After graduation she immediately began attending a mediocre college that was chosen by her parents more for the price than the quality of it's education. There she joined the life of the irresponsible college student with gusto, managing to squeak by her first two years of classes thanks to more intelligent students she manipulated into helping her. In her Junior year she joined an SRT recruitment drive, mistaking it for some sort of weird rave. The recruiters were in disbelief when she passed the test, and she wasn't sure what the hell was going on, but on the other hand she was getting paid for this, so she didn't really mind.

    In keeping with the horror trope origin of the idea I suggest that it be possible for her to die in a myriad of ways, but also be possible for her not to, depending on the player's actions.
  • @everyone

    thanks for the character ideas.

    Update:

    Gone through the pilot once so for and made some changes.

    Currently working on episode 1.

    The S.R.T now consists of three different units; Unit Alpha are the monster response team (think SWAT), Unit Beta are the research team and Unit Gamma are the specialists who hunt A-class monsters.

    You are put into Alpha or Beta depending on your stats and can either work towards Gamma or stay in Alpha/Beta.
  • Sounds like a plan. Love the idea of different levels to S.R.T. Makes it more complex and mysterious, I imagine you'd need clearance to find out what's going on in the other branches of the corporation that isnt yours... Maybe in your own branch as well.
  • Yeah you can build up your level of clearance to get more Intel on missions.

    Another update episodes will work like this

    pilot; character creation

    episode 1; start of srt alpha/beta leading to syncing with a guardian.

    episode 2; promotion opportunity or advancement in current unit.
  • Minor update:

    uploaded as much as I've done, not as good as I would like but currently using a lot of *if codes and want to make sure its all working.

    So play test it please (try playing as both sexes for a slightly different scene at one point.

    link: http://nocturnalstillnesscog.webs.com/Unnatural/my game/index.html

    Will be continuing the work on it tomorrow.
  • One of the options after the bully scene says "I think I did good". I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be "I think I did well". I know. I'm a grammar troll. Also, when Craig is studying, one of the options say "I leave (.) They deserve it." You might want to change that. Or even something like "That jerk deserves it". Kudos for providing some reason to Criag's change, by the way. But I got an error soon after starting line 73 next_page non-existent. But so far it's great!
  • @Shintaro

    glad your liking the changes, consider those errors fixed :)
  • ugh i ask for beta and i get alpha
  • if ur still looking for people to add to the game i have one
  • @vampierkid222

    That question is who you 'want' to work for who you get depends on your stats.

    Post your character there still are four more episodes still to come.
  • umm at a certain seen after you get your id card you go to the squad roomadn three toher member talk to you you can say yes i am name or i am name nice to meet you but wichever one i choose makes the game freeze
  • The previous error is still there for me... :-(
  • Not sure whats happening but the game crashes or freezes up when i meet the squad.
  • My game freezes up at the "0530 hours" scene.
  • Game froze when I met the squad, also after you take the self defense class two of the options are incorrect; the first one says "I won't give him time to react, I'll hit him as hard as I can." the second option says "I'll let him get ready, then take him down" I was playing as a female so Alice is the bully, the pronouns would need to be changed to her. Digging the update though :)
  • Thanks I'll have a look today.
  • Hah! I can't believe you actually used my character. Though I think I failed a bit in the physical description. I actually meant to imply that she had sort of a stereotypical American media hot girl build, but it's my fault for trying to be clever instead of clear with my wording. I always have trouble describing PnP game characters too.

    Anyway, I look forward to seeing how this pans out, and especially how this character works out as part of a semi militaristic government organization. :p
  • @Shoelip

    Yeah I intend to use all characters suggested :) I thought you may have meant that but I was unsure so I went with that description. I will alter it when I continue writing.

    @everyone

    I've no idea what is causing the game to freeze when you meet the team in Unit Alpha, it says something about an invalid arguement? Unit Beta seems to work though so I'll keep looking!
  • Well, don't feel pressured to alter it if you don't want to. I mean, I don't think we should really have much say in what happens to the characters we offer up to you. After all, this is your project. I assumed that any ideas I offered to you for it became yours if you decided to use them. Of course if you do change it I'll have no objections whatsoever.

    You're obviously a pretty decent writer, and I can see you improving already from the beginning of the project to now. The fact that you went to extra step to write the description of the characters in your own words to make them flow better with the rest of the text is just one small proof of that.
  • @Shoelip

    thanks for the kind comments. I will change it as I want peoples characters to be as close to their initial idea and then I'll evolve them as the story progresses
  • Minor update:

    I believe I've fixed the freezing issue (had to remove a choice that required a stat check as that was what was causing the problem)

    Still not the complete update but want to make sure the game works for everyone now before I go further into the game.

    Enjoy!

    link: http://nocturnalstillnesscog.webs.com/Unnatural/my game/index.html
  • So i can join Alpha now and keep playing? :D

  • You can join alpha and go to the armoury the next update will be your first mission.

    Just want to make sure I've fixed the freezing issue.
  • Freezing issue is fixed!

    What could be difficult for you is making the Beta team plotline interesting, research doesn't exactly lend itself well to action. Although the Beta plotline could make for some good political drama.

    My nitpicky complaints are that the morality system seems incidental at this point and that Ashara seems too anime-esque for the game's tone.
  • Runs smooth as silk now. And I can actually read the whole thing. Before it wouldn't let me scroll down when it froze. Much better. Can't wait to see more.
  • @13ventrm

    You are right about Beta Unit on paper research does seem a bit boring however there will be action too as the player has to test any new method of killing/capturing discovered by the team.

    As for morality do you mean not many choices or its not been used enough?

    In regards to Ashara being too anime do you mean her looks or how I portrayed her?

    @Shoelip

    I'll be refining Ashley Baker which will have a slightly different description depending on the gender of the PC (I'm considering using this as a way of defining a female PC's bodyshape ie "being jealous of Ashley's figure or not"

    @everyone

    which unit are you ending up with? Curious which unit is getting the most recruits :-)
  • 7x Alpha
    2x Beta

    Trying to figure out what makes you go where.
  • @Txu

    I'll pm you the answer if you want.

    @Shoelip

    btw just realised the mistake in your character description was my mistake it made perfect sense but i misread it lol will be fixed in the full update :-)
  • Well not really. My mistake was not being clear so it's perfectly reasonable that you'd interpret it differently than I intended.
  • @Nocturnal_Stillness

    nah i like finding things out bymyself. :p im in the train about 3 hours a day. I play CoG games to pass the time gives me enough time to figure out what choices create what paths (if that makes any sense. Sounds better in my head)
  • @Shoelip

    it was explained very well I just misread the former/latter bit but no worries :-)
  • I like how the game is progressing. and if it's not too late I'd like to make a character suggestion. X_X
  • Character suggestions are still welcome
  • Anime-esque in her appearance, it's like you dropped someone from any given Final Fantasy game into your urban horror fantasy game. My problem with the morality system in its current incarnation is that a) other than my book question, there are no choices to effect it. B) That it so far effects absolutely nothing.

    I found it pretty easy to manipulate my stats to get into the unit I want, so I got beta when I wanted beta and alpha when I wanted alpha.

    For another character suggestion, perhaps a naive medic who's apalled at how the S.R.T. treats the sentient supernatural beings who've committed crimes, capturing them and using them for invasive research rather than attempting to reform them. Just tossing an idea around.
  • @13ventrm

    I understand what you mean "Ashara" was one of the character ideas so I try to keep them as close to the original suggestion as possible. I will alter her to make her fit more.

    Regarding morality the issue I'm having is I'm not going for the typical good/evil split so I'm finding it difficult to come up with scenes that could effect it, but am working on implementing it more [question would a choice where you are ordered to retreat and you get to either obey and leave someone to die (+10 deontology) or rescue them (+10 consequentilism) work? I think I've got the CON/DEO on the correct sides of this kind of choice but am not sure]

    regarding your newest character idea that is perfect, I had an idea to get more action to the beta unit path but couldn't decide how best to do it, that naive medic is just what I need!
  • Name: Austin "The Clown" Keiser

    Appearance: 5 feet 9 inches, he's in his mid twenties, he has very short auburn hair. He has an very dark eyes. There is a scar on the bottom left part of his lip that leads down to his chin. He is very muscular and has a wide facial features. When on a mission he wears a painted kevlar mask that looks similar to a deranged clown.

    Personality: He is a very light hearted person off mission, complementing everyone. On mission, he deeply cares for his partner's well being, often risking his life to save there's. He will say a bad pun after completing every mission if he is still alive.
    Example: After clearing an apartment full of zombies, "Well, I guess they didn't have enough brains!"
    He hates and is scared of ghost though. He view guns as weak and will never use them.

    Skills: Austin is an expert in hand to hand, melee weapons, and being aware of his surroundings. He has very good reflexes and can take a beating. He is very strong, and has a high endurance. he is easily manipulated, and has a below average intelligence. Finally he can cause a great distraction.

    Backround: During his childhood, Jack was the tall and muscular. It helped create his calm demeanor. He kept his calm demeanor and kept his physical ablities, but not his height. He's always had a hard time learning but other people helped him to keep him in sports. While in college, Austin learned three things. One, He can tell puns that everyone laughs at (Because no one had the heart to tell him that they were terrible) Two, he is scared out of his mind of ghosts.

    This came from an evasive ghost that haunted him consistenly as a child. And three his girlfriend of two years, Faith was killed by a vampire. He personally hunted the vampire and killed him. But before the vampire died, he caused many scars all over Austins chest and back, but only one on his face. He felt his face and said "Well that bites."

    Since then he joined the SRT, and has earned the nickname "The Clown." Which creates an inner sadness for him, Faith always called him a clown. He wears the mask to remind him what happens if he fails.
  • Just thought of a couple of characters:
    Name: Aizen Leonard

    Appearance: Tall, around 25-35 years of age. Silver hair, brown eyes. (I'll leave the physical discription to you).

    Personality: Kind to everyone, inteligent, and very self sacrificing. A father figure to all the younger members...on the surface. Under his warm and sweet demeanor is a cruel, cunning, minipulative mind. He only looks out for himself and his closest followers, and will kill a innocent if it serves his purposes.

    Skills: Knows how to convince nearly anyone of anything. A master of the martial arts, and an expert marksman. He can take huge amounts of pain and phyical damage.

    Backround: ??? That's a secret...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Name: Srithican (or Srith, for short) Leonard

    Appearance: (20 years of age. You fill out the rest)

    Personality: An extremely sarcastic person, Srithican is not someone you want to annoy. Being the younger brother of Aizen, Shrith is manipulative (though not to the extreme that Aizen is), and changes tatics frequently to suit his needs. Unlike Aizen, however, the other members of the team know how minipulative he can be, but they usually just roll their eyes. He is dramatic, and gets bored quickly-sometimes he will save his opponent's life just so he can beat him again; other times he will take advantage of their slightest weakness.

    Skills: Has extensive knowlege of historical events, and frequently researches whatever he is getting into beforehand. He is an expert sniper, as well as an engineer.

    Backround: Almost as unknown as Aizen's. He knows Aizen's true personality, as well as some of his plans. He acts as Aizen's partner, but has his own plans as well.

    ...I sound like a geek.
  • Name: Jin Sakura

    Appearance: One eye is red while other is Silver. Tall average build. (24 years old. meh to lazy to think of the rest)

    Personality: Usually a quiet nerdy person but in combat he turns into a sadistic usually killing anyone that gets in his way. Most of the other members of alpha team avoid or ignore him. He can be somewhat unsociable and awkward at times.

    Skills: An expert at close quarters combat, very skilled at using knives and swords. Although lacking in terms of using guns. Due to being a hybrid vampire he is very fast and can endure a lot of damage.

    Background: Not known to many but before joining SRT he was attacked by a vampire during his childhood. Although he survived thanks to some nearby SRT members investigating he was turned into a hybrid vampire. He keeps it a secret from everyone and only a few people in the SRT know about him being a vampire.
  • Name:Lakota (Kota for short) Black

    Appearance 18-20 Long Jet black hair yellow eyes he is half human and half fairy

    Personality Calm and peaceful until some one bring up the fact that he is a halfbreed you can fill in the rest

    Skill's very smart can be very sneaky when need

    Background: unknow
  • @Aznxa Heh... And I was worried about Ashley being a combat liability. :p
  • @everyone

    thanks for character ideas I'll try and implement them into the story although some of the newer ideas may require tweaking to keep things as realistic as possible in this kind of story.

    From now on I'll state in an update whether a character has been added.
  • So are the whole spirit thing still in the game? To lazy to check back on other comments if you said you removed your guardian spirit thing.
  • Make sure you know how to filter out the not so good ideas from the good ones, believe it or not, as fabulous as we commenters are we are not infallible.

    I too am curious about the status of the guardian spirits, as when they were available they seemed rather underdeveloped.
  • There will still be the syncing in the game. But am considering just having the one unnamed guardian spirit then will reveal more details as the game progresses.

    You'll hopefully see where I'm going with the complete update.
  • additional note:

    In this universe halfbreeds are not possible, if someone has suggested a halfbreed please suggest an alternative background.
  • ANOTHER minor update.

    I apologise for this but hopefully you'll enjoy what is there.

    good news should be I should be able to get the demo finished over the next two days.

    link: http://nocturnalstillnesscog.webs.com/Unnatural/my game/index.html
  • So its an unnamed spirit and as you progress it evolves and gets more powerful pretty much? Oh then for the background for my halfbreed how about instead of being a halfbreed he is a full vampire but cant use his powers unless he is enraged or something? Ether that or he is just human but has a hate for vampires.
  • @Aznxa

    Yeah at the start the spirit is unnamed and it evolves depending on your choices and you learn more and more about it.

    Your character has been added by the way but you need to go to the Beta Unit to find him (not much of a scene but he gets a mention [look for J.Sakura] as one of the researchers in the unit.