*comment ñáéç…— *comment sometime in 1883 *hide_reuse *advertisement *if eliot_rapport < 45 *goto_scene stlouis_1884_circus *temp location 1 *temp mentioned_h_love false "What are we doing, ${given_name}?" "What do you mean, Hiram?" Where are the two of you? *choice #Schnaider's [i]biergarten.[/i] The German patrons are singing along with the music. *if (ethnicity = "german") *if (compassion < 65) You try to suppress the urge to sing along with them, but you periodically give voice to one chorus or another. *else The songs of your family rise up around you, but you feel no need to join in with the revelry. *selectable_if (wealth > 100000) #At the Planter's House Hotel. *set location 2 The Hotel has seen better days, but the parlor is still a place where an older set gathers for whiskey and cigars in the evening. @{male |The doorman is dismayed at the idea of admitting a woman, but between you and Hiram, soon relents.} Among the greybeards, the two of you do look somewhat out-of-place; little do they realize that you were all born within a decade or two of each other. *if (three_eyed_jack_visited) #The Three-Eyed Jack. *set location 3 The Three-Eyed Jack is one of the few places in St. Louis where blacks and whites rub shoulders on more-of-less equal footing. On most evenings, the crowd mixes without conflict. #The Lafayette Brewery & Tavern. *set location 4 The Lafayette Tavern serves the better set of the Kerry Patch. In the main hall, tables and benches fill most of the available space. There are private dining rooms, but the public space is better for voyeurism. "I mean, what are we doing with our existences? We have seemingly interminable nights to spend as we desire. But what are we doing with those nights? What am I doing?" he plaints, shaking his head. After a moment: "What are you doing with them?" The two of you met for a chat. You were not expecting the conversation to take such a turn. Why are you allowing it to continue? *fake_choice #The more I learn about Mr. Eliot, the easier it will be to manipulate him. *set independence %+5 #I'm trying to be a friend; he clearly needs a sympathetic ear. *set eliot_rapport %+5 *set compassion %-5 #Existential questions fascinate me; I'm thrilled to discuss them with most anyone. You ponder his question. What are you doing with your existence? Or, at least, what do you tell him? *choice #I offer some platitude about advancing in the Society. *if independence > 50 "I suppose I could see that. You do seem beholden to their rules." *else "I don't buy it for a minute, ${given_name}. You're not the type to spend every night seeking advantage, trying to tear down the others of our kind." "Are you saying you're not?" you retort. "I'm…ambivalent about the Society. It serves its purpose. I give it its due, and hope that it leaves me alone. *if independence > 62 But you…you seem to revel in it. Like you were born to move in its circles." "My maker chose wisely, I suppose." "Wisely for him, or wisely for you?" "Isn't the purpose of procreation to choose wisely for your progeny?" "But if we are truly dead, can we be said to be procreating?" You nod; he makes a good point. *elseif independence >= 38 *set eliot_rapport %+5 Much as you seem to." "I do what I must. I cannot say that I enjoy my time there, but like you, I see the purpose in it." "It's good to have a sense of proportion, I feel. It would be all too easy to spend all your time plotting out the moves and counter-moves of the various members of our kind. You would spend your unlife doing so, and to what end?" "Climbing to the top?" "I suppose. But I have to think that it's quite lonely at the top." *else *set eliot_rapport %-5 But you seem to reject it almost entirely! I'm frankly amazed you've survived as long as you have." "Lucky, I guess." "Quite." #I tell him that I want to find the origin and truth of our kind. "Oh? What…what do you mean by that?" @{(heretic and (perception > 2)) You sense that he is hesitant to broach the subject of heresies.|} *if heresy_of_abraham > 0 You ponder whether to disclose your affiliation with the Children of Abraham. *choice #I take the plunge. *set eliot_heretic 2 *set eliot_rapport %+10 "I have…asked many of these questions myself. Apparently I asked the right people, however, as I found the Children of Abraham." "The Children of Abraham?" "Yes. They think that Abraham was the first vampire. 'I think,' I suppose? But they…we…claim that the Bible tells us the story of our origin, if only you know how to read it." "Pardon my skepticism, ${given_name}, but what makes the writers of the Bible any more knowledgeable about these things than us?" "I can't rightly say. The person that inducted me had little time to expound upon these ideas, and I haven't met any more disciples since." "I have to wonder why Adonis fears the idea of a heresy so much. In, what, seventy years, you've met one other heretic? And they told you to read the Bible? That doesn't sound so dangerous to me." You shrug. #No, better to play it safe. *label played_safe "I just mean that we have to have come from somewhere, right? We didn't just appear from the earth or Zeus's head. Adonis does not claim to be the first—and even if he did, we know of vampires that predate him. So who was the first vampire? Where did his or her powers arrive?" "I have read about an idea called 'evolution' of late; it seems to be all the rage. They are saying that humans 'evolved' from apes. What if, in turn, vampires evolved from humans?" *if anachronism > 60 "You think we evolved from humans? When we seem so akin to…dead ones?" "Would you have us believe that God exists, and created us as some perverse joke? Or that some older, now-forgotten deity forged us out of clay?" "No, but the idea of evolution is that, as a species, the fittest survive and reproduce. The condition of vampirism does not fit with that. We may live longer, endure more, and know more, but we cannot be the result of natural selection. At best, we are parasites, not the next stage of nature." Hiram sighs. "I know. I cannot wrap my head around it either." "Perhaps there is another answer we are not seeing?" *else "I cannot believe that humans grew out of apes," you reply derisively. "Then you believe that humanity was created by God?" *if rationalism > 70 "Absolutely." Hiram looks at you searchingly. "I appreciate your faith, but I cannot accept such a conclusion." "It is not a conclusion, it is an assertion. *if ((intelligence > 2) or priest) and (religious_tradition != "pagan") [i]I do not understand so that I may believe, I believe so that I may understand.[/i]" "Don't quote Anselm at me." "I cannot help it if you cannot hear the word. But I cannot accept any other possibilities." *elseif (rationalism > 45) "I…I don't know," you admit. "The admission of ignorance is the first step towards wisdom," Hiarm intones. "I think you mangled that quotation." *else "No, but there must be some other source. We see animals arise spontaneously from certain conditions." "A demonstration that was disproven decades ago, my friend. You are behind the times." "But I…" "Regardless, these questions are broadly forbidden within the Society. Or at least, they were. But here we are, discussing them." "A step in the right direction?" "But is it the right direction? Should we be focused on the past? What purpose does investigating the past serve the present and the future?" *if (intelligence > 2) and (anachronism > 75) "And now you've been reading Nietzche?" "What does it matter if he raises pertinent questions?" *choice #"You're right, the past should stay dead and buried." *set anachronism %+5 "Towards the future, then?" "Always." #"If we don't study the past, we are doomed to repeat it." "But there will always be more history than there is present, yes?" "Of course." "Then at what point should we stop? Call the matter complete? Start living for today?" "I don't understand your point." "We cannot hug the dead. They will not feed us when we are hungry or comfort us when we grieve. We could spend our whole lives listening to them, but they will never speak to us. Where do you draw the line? How do you draw the line, so that your life is not populated by ghosts?" "We are vampires. Are our lives not already populated by ghosts?" Hiram wrinkles his nose. "Don't be smart, ${given_name}." #"If we don't understand our origins, how can we understand our purpose?" *set rationalism %+5 "How very Aristotelian of you." "But seriously, if we do not understand where we came from, how are we to know what were are here for?" "But what if we have no purpose, ${given_name}?" *if rationalism > 40 "What do you mean?" "What if there is no purpose? What if the very idea of a purpose was a passing fancy meant to help keep our sleep peaceful?" "But…everything has a purpose." "Or nothing does," Hiram retorts. *else "I certainly accept the basis of your argument. But we still fulfill some niche, some function in the world, do we not? And whether or not that purpose is purposeful is not what's at stake, but knowing what that purpose is has value." "And what if that purpose were to cull the weak among the humans?" *if compassion < 50 You hesitate at the thought. "I hope that you are wrong." *else "So much the better." #"What if the secrets of our past conceal the pitfalls of our future?" "I understand that point, I do." "And yet you do not support it?" "I don't. The idea that some special insight can be granted to our present or future condition by uncovering our past seems idealistic." "But what if, as you say, our demise is contained or defined by our condition, and that by understanding our origin, we might undo, baffle, or divert that demise?" "If there was a pre-determined demise for our kind, then the rest of my argument is already vacated, friend." "I suppose so." *elseif heresy_of_masons > 0 You ponder whether to disclose your affiliation with the Freemasons. *choice #I take the plunge. *set eliot_heretic 3 "I have…asked many of these questions myself. Apparently I asked the right people, however, as I found the Freemasons." "The Freemasons? Like the mortal fraternity?" "The very same. The mortal one and the vampiric one are separate yet the two exist in cooperation with one another. Or, at least, the mortal organization hosts the vampiric one," you say with a smile. "And you can cultivate disciples from the existing organization. Clever." "I wish I could say that I came up with it." "And how did you learn of this organization?" "My dominus inducted me, in fact. Though my broodmate, Jesse, is a member as well." "Passed down through the lineage. Another safe path of transmission," Hiram muses. "And what have you learned from this heresy?" "That the world and its creatures crave intelligible order. Why else would the beaver build his dams and the bee shape his honeycomb? So too do we creatures of intelligence seek a society that is orderly and transparent. It is our duty to embody these values, and to seek to uphold them in public, even if we cannot admit to them." "And this is the great secret of the Freemasons?" You smile ruefully. "It doesn't sound so majestic when I say it aloud, does it?" #No, better to play it safe. *goto played_safe *elseif read_saw_manuscript "You know, Senator Bowater sent me his copy of Eusebius's text." "[i]Of Shepherds and Wolves[/i]?" Eliot replies. "It was…quite a chore to read it." "I didn't realize you read Greek! I always wanted to learn really dig into the language while I was there, but I struggled to speak the modern version." "I…I don't. It was in Latin." "Oh! I hope it was a good translation." "As do I." "What did it say?" "It questioned the existence of the divine. Do the gods exist? And if they don't, whence came vampires?" "A question I myself have struggled with, ${given_name}," Hiram replies. *elseif has_saw_manuscript = 3 "You know, Senator Bowater sent me his copy of Eusebius's text." "[i]Of Shepherds and Wolves[/i]?" Eliot replies. "Yes. @{speaks_latin It's|But it's} in Latin. And it's handwritten. @{speaks_latin It's nearly impenetrable|I will have to find someone to translate it if I want to read it}." "That sounds…dangerous." "You mean, if I employ a mortal to do so." "Yes." "I've thought of that. It would be better if I could tamper with their memories once they were finished." "You know that Senator Bailey has such powers." "I do." "I sense the opportunity for an exchange." You muse on that for a moment. "Why must everything in the Society be an exchange of favors?" "Would you trust Bailey to return an act of friendship?" "Not for a moment." *if eliot_rapport > 65 You pause to think. "But I would trust you." Eliot shrugs. "We are still young. There will be time for mistrust to grow between us." "I hope not." "Then you hope for one of us to die. Mistrust is what befalls our kind." *else "Thus, you have your answer." *else *goto played_safe *if (creation > 0) #I make an argument for art as the purpose for existence. "I find meaning in the act of creation. The Society serves a purpose, yes: it gives order and structure to our kind. But I would address it only as much as I need to. My goal is the freedom and the leisure to realize the visions that haunt my dreams." [i]"Ars gratis artis?"[/i] "Yes. Art is its own ethic." "You sound like Oscar Wilde," he quips. "I liked what he has to say. I think he might very well be right about a great many things." "And the rest of humankind? They serve no purpose?" "They have created the material conditions that allow art to flourish." "That sounds…cretinous." "How do you mean?" "You are saying that all the people throughout history that have lived and loved and toiled have done so for the sole purpose of creating the conditions for you and artists like you to create art?" "Is that cretinous?" "It's certainly inhuman." "Inhuman? Or posthuman? Much like being a vampire?" *if speaks_latin You shake your head. "Perhaps transhuman would be better." "I don't particularly care which prefix you use." He shakes his head. *else *line_break *line_break "I cannot immediately discount your conclusion, but it seems distateful to me. By that logic, we should throw the colored peoples back into chains. @{(ethnicity = "choctaw") We might as well go back to exterminating your kind while we're at it. What art have they produced?|} In fact, we should throw most of the whites into chains as well. We should throw everyone into chains except for artists, as they are simply being inefficient by doing things other than toiling." *if ethnicity = "choctaw" "What art have we produced?" "Yes. I know of no paintings, no poetry, no architecture…" "Material art, that can be bought or sold, you mean." "Well…what other art is there?" "Dancing? Storytelling? Beadwork or leatherwork?" "Well, your leatherworking is very fine…" "Hiram, I suggest you move on before you say something we both regret." He pauses. "Forgive me, ${given_name}." He thinks a moment. "But to return to my earlier point, what other conclusion can there be?" *else "Now you're carrying it too far, Hiram." "Am I, though? What other conclusion can there be?" "You make it sound so…heartless." "You're the one who said you were '@{speaks_latin transhuman|posthuman}.' I'm simply articulating what that means," he presses. You shake your head in frustration; he will not be swayed by this line of debate. *if (love_hope or love_clotho) #"I am waiting for my love to return to me." "Waiting for your love to return to you?" *temp love_they "they" *temp love_their "their" *temp love_them "them" *if love_hope and love_clotho "Loves, I suppose." "Tell me." "There was a woman…and a man…mortals. They died. But they promised that they would return to me." *elseif love_clotho *set love_they "she" *set love_their "her" *set love_them "her" "There was…a woman. A mortal woman. She died. But she promised that she would return to me. I have to believe that she will return to me." *else *set love_they "he" *set love_their "his" *set love_them "him" "There was…a man. A mortal man. He died. But he promised that he would return to me. I have to believe that he will return to me." "You believe ${love_they} will be reincarnated?" "No…" "Are you searching for a man of science that will reanimate ${love_their} body, like Doctor Frankenstein?" "No…" "Then what?" "I…I don't exactly know. But reminding myself of ${love_their} love is how I get through the nights." "And what if ${love_they} will only ever be a memory?" "Then I will remember ${love_them} until the sun falls from the sky and the stars melt into the earth." "That's…not how that works, but I understand your point," he concludes with a sigh. "Have you…loved?…as a vampire?" you inquire. He looks at you. "Yes. There was a…person…that I cared for, deeply. But I refused to make them like us. And so I abandoned them." "Abandoned them?" "I…what else could I do? Condemn them to this living hell?" "No…you could have…" you falter. *set mentioned_h_love true The silence between you expands to fill all the spaces. #I tell him that I'm afraid of dying, no more and no less. "I'm afraid of dying. That's why I am still here." Eliot gives you a hard look. "I don't know whether to praise you or condemn you, ${given_name}. I understand your meaning, but your existence depends on inflicting cruelties on so many others. Does your fear justify those cruelties?" *if (rationalism > 60) and ((religious_tradition = "reformed") or (religious_tradition = "catholic")) "I know that my soul is damned. I will spend eternity in hell. How can I hasten that misery?" "But are you not further damning yourself by continuing to inflict harm on others?" "Likely, yes. But one more night here is one less night there." *elseif (rationalism > 60) "I know that, when I die, I will go…let us say, to the 'bad hunting ground.'" There's no point in trying to explain cosmology to a settler, no matter how well-intentioned. "And I do not wish to go there. Who would?" "But are you not further damning yourself by continuing to inflict harm on others?" "Damnation is not the word that I would use. But one more night here is one less night there." *else "If there is no great judge evaluating my deeds, then there is only mine own conscience to assuage. And while I may feel guilt over what I do, that guilt does not outweigh my fear." "It seems that we agree on a great many things. But I do not know how much longer my guilt will outweigh my fear, friend." "I cannot answer that for you, Hiram." He looks around the room, observing the ebb and flow of mortals as they mill around the two of you. There's a subconscious magnetism to the two of you—both positive and negative. Generally, they keep their distance except when they are ready to directly engage you. Right now, they are steering clear. *if location = 1 *if ethnicity = "german" "Look at all of your countrymen. Many of them came here in the wake of the 1848 uprisings, yes? They remember the struggle for freedom and liberty, squashed by the monarchists and feudalists. They fought for a better world that is even now being squeezed out of existence by the Kaiser." "What of it?" "Those moments of freedom, when the German people thought they had a future free of feudal obligations. The people in this room remember those moments, but what of those who are back home? Memory is such a fragile thing. When these folks die, that dream of liberty will die with them." *if ethnicity != "german" "Most of these people came from the various German states after the 1848 Uprisings, yes? They fought for freedom and liberty. They sought to pull down the capitalist and feudalist structures that were impoverishing them. And they were defeated. Even now, the Kaiser solidifies his grip on the German Empire. When they die, the multitude of those traditions will die with them." *if location = 2 "Look at the men seated around us. They were born in more or less the same years as you and me. What do we have to talk to them about? Growing up in the shadow of the Revolution? What it meant when Jefferson signed the Louisiana Purchase? We all lived through that, the last generation to do so. But once they are gone, everyone will be younger than us—except for other vampires. Another decade or so, and no one living will remember the year of my birth, my family, my neighbors. Sure, I can relate the stories, but there is a marked difference between hearing about a milieu and living in it." "Many would say that no one is truly dead as long as their story is still being told." "That may be. But that his a heavy burden to bear. And is that what we are supposed to be doing? Telling the stories of our acquaintances? Because I suspect that neither of us are devoting much time to that particular task." *if location = 3 *if ethnicity = "african" "Look at the the people around us. They are struggling to be free, but their neighbors will not let them forget the color of their skin or the conditions of their birth. What about you? How can you live freely when your people are not free?" "I'm not sure what you're asking. My people will never be free so long as the memory of slavery hangs over our heads." "That's exactly my point. The very memory perpetuates the oppression. And we remember not only the stories of it, but lived through it." *if ethnicity != "african" "Do you see the other patrons of this saloon? This is revolutionary, to see people of the different races mixing. But many of the wounds of these past decades will not be healed by simply drinking together. Some wounds never heal. New generations, however, ones who have never lived with the stigma of slavery—that is where hope lies. But here we are, living relics of a bygone age. What happens when we are the only ones still burdened with the weight of these crimes." "We will be able to enjoy the fruits of that progress." "But what if, by our very existence, we impede that very progress?" *if location = 4 "Look at the people surrounding us. *if ethnicity = "irish" They're you're people. But do they remember the same Ireland that you do? Almost everyone they know back home is dead from the famine. Everyone that you knew and all their descendants are likely dead as well. Your home is gone. Does that mean nothing to you?" *if ethnicity != "irish" I'm sure that, to a man, they came here due to the famine. Almost their entire way of life has been destroyed. And so they picked up and came here because there was nowhere else to go. Do you think they can go back, when everyone they know is dead?" "I'm not sure I understand what you're after," you reply. "What I mean is this: what does it mean to live forever? Is that something I even want to do? Is that something you want to do? Is that something we should want to do, if our existence impedes the future?" *temp fatalism false *choice #"I very much want to, yes." "You do? But why? You will see everything that you love age and die. Everything that you know will change. The world will pass you by while you remain the same. How can you stand it?" *choice #"I will bring those that I love with me." *if love_clotho or love_hope "And how has that turned out for you so far?" You purse your lips in annoyance. "Not so well, I'm afraid." *else "And how goes your quest for love?" "I can't say I've found it yet." "Thus my point. Relationships are fragile. Perhaps it is a blessing to humans that their lives are so circumscribed. I for one cannot imagine waking to the same person every night for eternity. That sounds like a living hell." "Hell?" "Yes, hell! Have you never been annoyed by a lover? In time, perhaps, you forgive them, but also in time those petty grievances accrete. I've seen it more times than I can count. The only happy couples are those who are too old to remember the crimes of each against the other." "You are truly a romantic, Hiram." "I am, in fact. The best loves are those that are circumscribed. When presented with too much time, too much memory, too much…of each other, love will invariably grow stale." *if mentioned_h_love "Is that why you abandoned your lover?" Hiram looks wounded. "No! I let them live their life without being condemned to leeching—both literally and figuratively—from the rest of humanity." You wonder whether Hiram is lying to himself. *else You consider for a moment. "Are you saying, then, that John and Samson are the perfect couple?" "In fact, I am. Because they live in separate cities, their experience of each other is limited. When they are given the opportunity to see one another, it makes the experience all the sweeter. And for vampires, I can think of no better condition." "That's a bleak view of love," you reply. "Perhaps. And perhaps not." Silence descends between you. #"I am content being alone. I need no one else." *set discretion %-5 "I cannot imagine how lonely your existence must be, to reject any who wishes to be intimate with you." "That is the only way to stay safe and live another night." "But what is the point of living another night in safety, if there is no one to share it with?" "It is better than not living." "Is it? I cannot imagine such a life." "What life is it that you find so worthy that you live it?" *if eliot_rapport > 65 After a moment's consideration, Hiram answers: "I live for my family. My nephew and his children are everything to me." *else "There are…people…that I care about. It makes my existence worth continuining." "And you do not think such attachments make you weak?" "Make me weak? They are the only thing that keeps me going. That is how I justify the petty cruelties I commit on a weekly basis." When the words finish, he recoils a bit at their harshness. A moment passes, and he changes the subject. #"I want to see what happens. I want to live a thousand lives, never the same one twice." *set compassion %+5 "You want…" he stumbles. "I suppose I hadn't considered that. But…how do you reinvent yourself?" "Take a new name. Move to a new city. If every human that knows me is dead, nothing fetters me to a time or a place. I'm free to go to new places and times and forge new connections." "And you find that…fulfilling?" "I do." "I suppose…perhaps in time. But for now, I am too connected to my family. I could not abandon them." "We can be two different people, Hiram." "Yes, of course," he says with a slightly embarrassed smile. #"I do not wish to live forever, no, but my time is not yet nigh." "And at what point do you end it?" "Who says that I have to end it myself?" "Then what did you mean?" *choice #"Okay, yes, that is what I meant." "Then I ask you again, how do you decide when the time is right?" he presses. "That's a hard question, Hiram." "That's why I'm asking it." You stop to consider. *choice #"I do not intend to kill myself; I wish to die of old age." *set compassion %-30 *set discretion %-20 Hiram laughs. "And how would you do that, when we are immortal?" "Is there no way to go back? Is there no way to reverse this state of unliving death?" Eliot frowns. "None that I am aware of." "But we exist! And if we exist…then the possibilities of what else might be possible seem…limitless." Eliot shrugs. "I cannot deny the possibility, as far-fetched as it may sound." He pauses, preparing to change the subject. #"I wish to die in battle." *set discretion %+20 *set eliot_rapport %-5 "Return home with your shield or upon it?" Eliot quips. "Yes, exactly." "But who are you fighting, dear ${given_name}?" "It doesn't matter. But to die in battle is to be surprised by it. Moreover, it will not be done by mine own hand. *if (rationalism > 55) and ((religious_tradition = "reformed") or (religious_tradition = "catholic")) I would not with to damn myself further. The surprise would be the closest thing to a mortal's death. And no one will say that I was a coward." *if sire_name = "West" "And do you intend to die in combat with your maker?" he presses. *if patricide "No, certainly not," you reply, before realizing the full extent of your words. "But you intend to face him?" "I will confront the beast, yes." "But you are confident in your chances of surviving such an encounter?" "I am," you reply. Hiram shakes his head. "You're right. No one will think you a coward; only a fool." *else "If that is to be my fate, so be it," you reply. "You're right. No one will think you a coward; only a fool." You bristle at this slight. *else "No, not a coward. A fool, perhaps, but not a coward." You bristle at his gibe. #"I mean that yes, some day I will end my unlife. When I feel that everything I wish to achieve has been accomplished." "I admire your naïveté." You look at him askance. "What I mean is, you will never accomplish everything you desire. My brother once said to me, 'Hiram, what do you think happens when a man makes ten thousand dollars?' "'He's happy?' I answered." "'No, he wants eleven.' By which I mean, you will always add more things to your proverbial list. Mortals are saved by the fact that eventually they die, whatever the state of their list. But you will not." "I do not think my list is as long as you do." "We shall see," he smirks. #"When I no longer understand what is transpiring around me." *set anachronism %+5 *set compassion %-5 Eliot nods. "I understand. The world is changing so quickly around us. Electricity powering homes? Soon, we will fly to the moon! But with every day, I feel the space between what I know and what this modern world contains." "And when it no longer makes sense to me, I will say goodbye to it." "That is a noble sacrifice. There is an argument for wisdom and experience, but there is also an argument that rigidity hinders problem-solving." "What are you saying, Hiram?" "I mean, when your manner of thinking has grown so out-of-step with the rest of the population that it is literally of another time, yet you hold and hoard resources—as a vampire must—then you are an impedement to progress. You are, in fact, the problem. To offer to remove yourself when you realize that you have become that problem is noble." "That's assuming that I follow through on such a pledge." "So it is," he nods. #"I will survive until some whelp displaces me." *set discretion %+5 "You will make way when someone forces you to." "Yes." "And how many people will you kill to stay on top of the proverbial heap?" "As many as necessary." "I feared that you would say that," he says, resignation in his voice. *if (compassion < 50) #"I…hope that some day, I might have my humanity restored." *set compassion %-5 *set rationalism %+5 Hiram looks at you. "Your…humanity…restored?" "Yes. I know it sounds impossible, but so does being a vampire. If we can enter this state of suspended entropy, might we not be reactivated?" "By what means would such a thing occur?" "I don't know. Whether by God, sorcery, or science, I have to believe that this existence is not the end." Suddenly, you spy a bloodtear appearing at the corner of Hiram's eye. "Do not tease me with such possibilities, ${given_name}. I would ford any river…" *if (rationalism > 60) and (religious_tradition != "pagan") "Our Lord and Savior brought Lazarus back from the dead. Why not us as well?" He rolls his eyes and changes the subject. *else "Did not Doctor Frankenstein raise his monster from the dead?" He wipes away the tear. "That was fiction, ${given_name}." "The point stands." "Does it?" he retorts. #"I have to believe that there is some sort of purpose to my existence, one that will be revealed to me in time." *set rationalism %+15 *if rationalism >= 60 "I don't think I quite realized what a fatalist you were," he chides. *set fatalism true "Fatalist? I'm not saying my entire existence is predetermined…" "But aren't you, though? If you have a purpose, that purpose is one that was preordained, yes? Unless purposes are being spontaneously generated like maggots…" "Then I suppose I am a fatalist. Everything that will happen to me has been preordained. I suppose, then, I'm curious to observe what has been composed," you reason. "I cannot understand such thinking. Though, I suppose, it would be comforting. But it is not a position that I can accept." "I suppose it doesn't matter much whether you accept it or not. Much like the rising and the setting of the sun, what has been written will yet be." He sighs. *else "And you believe that God is the one that composed such a purpose for you?" "I won't say that God did it. Perhaps I subscribe more to an Aristotelian teleology: I have a Final Cause that is the culmination of my nature." "That's still rather superstitious thinking." "Superstitious? I wouldn't say that." "But this Final Cause is not something that we can perceive, yes? How will you know when it is achieved? How is that not just you retrospectively assigning significance to random events?" "It is the job of the philosopher to philosophize about these very questions, is it not?" "That's not an answer." "I can't say how a purpose is to be divined, other than by observing the results…" "And thereby assigning a cause! Don't you see, the cause is the result of the result, just as the result is the cause of the cause!" "Now you're just babbling." "Perhaps we should change the subject," he sighs. "Tell me this, what do you think of John?" "Senator Bailey?" "Yes," he replies. *choice #"I admire him." *set eliot_rapport %-5 *set shepherd_credentials %-5 "Admire him?" "Yes. He seems to have this city under his thumb. Everyone comes to pay him homage at his table, whether that's at the Southern or Planter's." "And you want to be honored and feared in the same way?" "I do." "Whatever the consequences?" "Whatever the consequences," you echo. #"I can't wait to take his place." *set discretion %+5 *set independence %+5 "In court? In the Senate? Among the humans?" "All of it," you say with a fangy grin. "I can never tell whether you jest or not," Eliot retorts. "Who says I'm jesting?" you reply. #"He's a leech on society." *set shepherd_credentials %+5 *set laborvscapital %+5 *set eliot_rapport %+5 "I couldn't agree more!" Eliot exclaims. "He is like Jay Gould or JP Morgan, taking and taking without regard to the consequences of his actions. People, businesses, livelihoods, families…if they can be dissolved for a profit, he will seize upon it." "The whole city seems to wither at his touch. The police, the courts, and the politicians all dance to his tune." "How can any of the workers fight against such a force?" *if eliot_rapport > 55 He purses his lips for a moment. "There is a new generation of politicians, lawyers, and journalists just coming of age. They see clearly the way the current élite have hoarded wealth and resources. They will fight this corruption." "Until their children forget, and their grandchildren repeat the same mistakes, you mean." "Perhaps," he says with a chuckle. *else He shifts uncomfortably. "I wish there were a way to turn the whole system on its head." *page_break "Tell me something, Hiram." "Yes?" "Why did Stone kill Miele and start his revolution?" Eliot considers. "I do not know what was in Stone's heart. There are many rumors, for example, that he is simply a puppet. Or that he simply acted rashly, and once the deed was done, the only way out was through." "You're saying he killed Miele by accident, and everything since was him refusing to repent?" "I'm saying that that is one of the many possibilities that has been floated." "But why would other vampires flock to his banner?" "The Americas have long been a refuge for the misfits of the Society, ${given_name}. Our kind has come to these shores in the hopes of freedom, power, indulgence…things denied them in the Old World." "But what of the governors? Why would Townsend and Overstreet join him? Without their support, the revolt would have been quashed." "I can't say. It is clear why Gudhrun has pledged her loyalty, but as for Townsend and Overstreet…" he trails off. "Do you want to hear the most ridiculous story I've heard?" "Absolutely," you reply. "I heard once that the revolution was over the governorship of Brussels." "Why would Stone care about the Governor of Brussels?" "I can't rightly say. But there isn't a Governor of Brussels. Belgium belongs to the Province of Amsterdam. Some vampires are happy about this, others are dismayed." "And so all this is over the governorship of Belgium?" "So I've been told. I can't say it's true. But I thought you would find the anecdote amusing." "So I do." "Tell me, do you even really care about Stone's revolution?" *choice *if (heresy_of_masons > 1) #"I believe in democracy." *set justice %-5 *set eliot_rapport %+10 "Democracy?" Eliot replies. "Yes. I believe that we could govern ourselves, given the opportunity to craft a set of laws." "And you expect vampires to write these laws for themselves?" "It would be better than being a pawn in a game between Adonis and Isaiah Stone." "You think that these laws would protect us from being pawns?" "I do." "I wish I could believe that, ${given_name}." #"No, I don't. The machinations of the elders holds no interest for me." *set independence %-10 Eliot chuckles. "If only it were that simple." "If only," you reply. #"I do. I hope that Stone perseveres and that the Americas can go their own way." *set revolutionary_credentials %+5 *set independence %+5 "I do too," Eliot muses. "Most of the vampires from the Old World that I have met are insufferable. Did you ever meet Quarrington?" "The Quaestor of Cumberland? No." "Quaestor of Cumberland," he nearly spits. "Have you ever been to Cumberland?" "No." "It is a flyspeck. A point where wagons, barges, and now railroads stop on their way over the mountains. No more than ten thousand souls live there. But Quarrington…he saw the advantage of existing there. And he used his position to extract information and debts from vampires who passed through. And if you dared to try to sneak through without paying him homage…you were lucky if you were only burnt alive by the sun." "He made his point once or twice, and afterwards everyone obeyed." "Yes. Or went the long way." "I see," you reply. #"I do, but only because I hope to see it overturned. The Society should be unified. There are too many threats for us to quarrel among ourselves in this way." *set revolutionary_credentials %-5 *set independence %+5 *set eliot_rapport %-5 "I'm sorry you feel that way," Eliot replies. "I hope this does not come between us, Hiram." "No, but I urge you to reconsider." "Because Brussels needs a governor?" "No! Because I do not wish to be a plaything in someone else's story. And in the Society, that is all we are." "And you think you are free under Stone?" Eliot looks at you hard. "Freer, yes." Eliot pauses. Perhaps he is ready to say what's really on his mind? "How do you justify drinking blood from humans?" The question explodes like a gunshot between you. "Do you mean, how do you justify surviving from night to night?" "No, I mean, we must drink blood to survive, but it means engaging humans in a most intimate, violent, depraved act: stealing their very essence. And we must do it on a frequent basis. I can think of no great violation to be done to me, and yet I–we—perpetrate this with regularity." *temp disclosed_vegetarian 1 *choice *if feeding_style = "vegetarian" #"In fact, I don't." *set disclosed_vegetarian 3 *set eliot_rapport %+15 Hiram's jaw drops. "Excuse me?" "I drink from animals. *if stl_pig_farm I own a whole pig farm that I use to satsify my needs. *else Cows, pigs, horses, rats…whatever is handy. But I avoid the blood of humans as much as I can." "I have never…considered…heard…" "Believe me. I dream of the taste of blood in my dreams. It takes the utmost demonstrations of will to contain myself when I see a wound or an accident. But every night I can wake up and tell myself that tonight will not be the night that I sully myself with the blood of the innocent." "I must say, I am in awe of you, ${given_name}." "Awe?" "Yes." "That is a heavy word, one that does not suit me." "I know of no other to describe this moment," he says, pausing. "I will have to set my mind to this…this very evening." "I wish you fortitude." #I may not drink blood from mortals, but I don't want Hiram to know that. "It's hard, I know." *set discretion %-10 *set eliot_rapport %-5 "That's not much of an answer." "What do you want me to say? That stealing the life from humans weighs upon me? That I cannot forgive myself for doing so?" "Yes, if that's the case! I want to know how you live with yourself." "Well, I suppose that I don't." Hiram scowls. "You know what I mean." "I do what I must to survive. There is nothing more to be said." *if (feeding_style != "vegetarian") *if (knows_about_vegetarianism) #"I hope to stop one night, and soon." *set eliot_rapport %+10 *set disclosed_vegetarian 2 Hiram snorts. "To stop drinking blood? How would you do that? By becoming human again?" "Well, I don't know about becoming human again, but we don't have to drink human blood to survive." "Pardon?" "We can live off of animal blood. Or so I am told. I simply cannot stomach it, otherwise I would abstain from human blood entirely." Hiram marvels at this. "To no longer drink the blood of humans…" he whispers. "No more petty cruelties, as you say. No more deception, no more taking while giving nothing in return." "I mean, you're still taking while giving nothing in return, but at least it's not from sentient beings," you observe. "Do you wish to only feed from vegetables, then?" "I would like to stop drinking blood altogether, yes. And while I may not be ready to end mine own existence quite yet, being able to continue without these nightly crimes might make the whole thing more endurable." "Perhaps we will do so together?" "What a lovely idea!" #"The guilt is debilitating, yes. But I have no other choice." *set compassion %-5 *set eliot_rapport %+5 "You could kill yourself," Hiram offers. "And yet I cannot bring myself to do that either. Not yet, anyway." "And so you sully your soul further out of fear." "And are you so different?" "No, not at all. But I tell myself that I do more good than harm. That when the scales are weighed at the end, that my life will not be found wanting." "So there is someone waiting and watching to judge you?" "Only myself, I suppose." "But who are you to judge the worth of your actions? Others may find vice where you see virtue." "You're not telling me anything I haven't considered myself, dear ${given_name}." "And yet you have no answer." "I can only do the best that I can until that day. Or maybe I'm just a coward without the stones to off myself." "Perhaps we're all just cowards." #"I don't see what's so bad about it. They replenish themselves naturally. And it's not like I kill them for it. Very often, anyway." *set compassion %+5 *set discretion %+5 *set eliot_rapport %-10 Hiram looks at you, horrified. "How can you be so callous?" "I once ate the flesh of cows, pigs, fish, and fowl. I did not fret over their feelings. Now that I am a vampire, why should I fret over the feelings of mortals?" "You no longer see yourself as…human?" "No, I don't." @{(compassion > 60) "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. You never did seem like the empathetic sort."|"I must admit that I am surprised to hear you say that. You didn't strike me as one of those types."} #"I take what I need. I kill when it suits me. What is the point of all these tears?" *set compassion %+10 *set discretion %+10 *set eliot_rapport %-15 Hiram looks at you, horrified. "How can you be so callous?" "I am no longer human. Why should I be bound by human morality?" "And West? Do you think he is bound by human morality?" "West is a Beast. That is totally different." "Is it, though? Do you know how he degenerated into his current state? No? Well, I'll tell you what I think. I think he thought as you once did. That he thought and he thought and he thought until he could think no more. And now we have no choice in the matter but to live in terror until someone manages to put him down." "I'm tired of thinking. I wish to enjoy myself and my existence without you judging me for my choices." "If you wish to go, then go." "Goodnight, then." With that, you depart. *finish Next As if to underscore the gravity of the conversation, a @{location [i]bierfrau[/i]|young gentleman|drunken soldier|besotted artisan} stumbles at the edge of your table. *if compassion < 50 Your arm shoots out and you help @{location her|him|him|him} regain @{location her|his|his|his} balance. @{location She|He|He|He} thanks you *else You watch dispassionately as @{location she|he|he|he} regains @{location her|his|his|his} balance and continues on @{location her|his|his|his} way. "They're so fragile. One misstep…" he mutters. "Are we really so different? One encounter with a Beast or early morning…" "But it's different." "Different because we're different, you mean. Because we're not vulnerable to the same things that they are. But that does not make us any less fragile." "No, I suppose not." He winces. "The problem that has stumped me more than any other is, who should be given this opportunity?" "How do you mean?" "Why you? Why me? Why Memeskia? Was it all chance, or the whim of our maker, or just desserts, or did we somehow earn it…" *if fatalism He paushes. "Yes, I know that you think everything is preordained." *fake_choice #@{fatalism "I'm not so pedantic as all that."|"Perhaps this is simply the next step in our lives?"} #"Dumb luck, I suppose." #"I was born to be immortal." "Oh ho! I see," he winks at you, taking your boast for a jest. "But really. Do you realize how we could profit from our situation? You've heard of JP Morgan and Jay Gould and Jay Rockefeller? Do you know what they would pay for immortality? In fact, I hear that Jay Gould might be dying. Right now, he would jump at the chance, whatever the cost." "And would you want to spend your existence with them?" "That's just my point. Should someone have turned Thomas Paine or George Washington? Should someone go knock on Frederick Douglass's door right now and invite him into this misery?" "Our greatest leaders and philosophers?" "Why not? My brother, for example. A devout man with a gift for oratory and the ability to inspire people to achieve great things. Why not him? But how can anyone grapple with the power—the responsibility—of this curse?" "I doubt that Jay Gould would mind living in comfort for the rest of his existence." "That's just it. If the rich can purchase immortality, then the rest of the world has no hope. The end of the mortal lifespan is the only escape from monsters such as they." *comment written 8/25/19, the day after David Koch's death. *if justice < 40 "The mortal lifespan…and the guillotine." "Yes, I suppose the French did have a bit of [i]savoir faire[/i] when it came to dealing with their monsters." "But surely the rich aren't all evil?" you muse. "Are we all evil?" "I…" @{disclosed_vegetarian "Let me answer that for you. As long as we drink blood from the living, our sins will always outweigh our good deeds."|"I know you aspire to stop feeding from humans, but the vast majority of our kind have no such pretenses."|"The fact that you are able to abstain from feeding from humans does not mean you do not crave it every night; you admitted as much yourself. What you do is admirable, but it cannot be extrapolated."} He sighs. "Whatever our intentions, our very existence is a blight. Much like theirs. Some of them may hope, like I do, to come out ahead in the end, but I fear that very few of them will. Just as I suspect that very few of us will." *if (rationalism > 60) and (religious_tradition != "pagan") "It is easier for a camel to thread the eye of a needle…" "Exactly." "Our existence cannot entirely be a blight, can it?" "How many people have you killed, ${given_name}?" *fake_choice #"None." *if west_widow = "dead" *set eliot_rapport %-10 "Why would you lie to me, ${given_name}? And about something so simple." "Whatever do you mean, Hiram?" "The wife of the farmer that West killed outside Ste. Genvieve. You murdered her." "Oh, her. I'd forgotten." Hiram scowls at you. "I wonder what other sins you've forgotten." He's suddenly very interested in his nails, examining them for any flaw. *else "Truly, in all your nights, you have never taken a life? I find that hard to believe. Regardless, you would be the exception that proves the rule," he begins. *if (west_widow = "dead") #"One." "Yes, I remember. The wife of the farmer that West slew outside Ste. Genvieve." "Yes." "A messy business, that I wish there would have been another way," continues. #"Only a few." "Then you are better than most. But that number will never decrease, and in time, I am certain, it will grow," he begins. #"Enough." #"More than I can count." "I have murdered my fair share of humans over the past century and change: the look of despair as the light fades from their eyes haunts my dreams; the gasp of disbelief as their blood gushes from their throats echoes in my memory. And yet, I would ask you, is it better to remember my crimes, or to forget them?" *choice #"These are not crimes, Hiram." *set compassion %+5 *set shepherd_credentials %-15 *set laborvscapital %-5 "Just because we were once human," you continue, "does not oblige us to treat them as we treat one another. We are beyond that—beyond them—now." "I know the argument of the Wolves. I know it well. But I don't buy it. No sheep ever spontaneously became a wolf." "Nor did a sheep ever spontaneously become a shepherd," you retort. "Then perhaps we should just be content with being sheep?" "And where would we be, then, when the storms come? Or when our numbers grow too great for the field? No, you need someone to cull the flock." "And that should be you?" "I'd rather be one who culls than one who is culled." "You truly have found your calling, then." #"I suppose I prefer to remember." *set compassion %-5 *set eliot_rapport %-5 Hiram nods his head slowly. "Myself as well." He pauses again. "Not only am I wracked by guilt for my crimes, but I exist in terror of the night when those crimes have grown pale to me." "I feel sorry for you, Hiram. You hate your existence, while also being terrified of it changing." "I am a rather sorry fellow, aren't I?" "Quite," you say with a wry grin. #"I would prefer to forget." "You would prefer to be inured to your crimes. To become like West?" "I have to believe that there is some middle ground between being wracked by guilt and turning into a slavering monster." "For your sake, I hope that you are right," he replies. "I, for one, prefer to remember. I would remember everything if I could." "But I thought that the blessing of humanity was that people died, they forgot, and time marches on?" "That may be a blessing for a culture, but not for an individual." "I see." *if eliot_in_greece "And to think, once upon a time, I helped people, rather than hurt them." "Helped them?" "When I was aboard the [i]Katerina[/i], I doubled as a medic. They called me 'Phlebus,' because I was the most skilled at drawing blood." "You were a medic?" "I can also suture a wound like nobody's business." "Have you tried on dead flesh?" "I've never had a need." *if speaks_latin and (intelligence > 2) "You know that they don't call medics 'phlebus' in Greek." "What do you mean?" "'Phlebotomos' means…mosquito." Hiram frowns. "Did they know something I didn't?" "Perhaps." The night has grown late. @{location Most of the other patrons of the [i]biergarten[/i] have departed.|The cigars have long been smoked and the bourbon drunk; the old men have returned to their homes or adjourned to their beds.|The saloonkeeper is cleaning the glasses while his assistant sweeps the floor.|The other guests have quit the tavern and the workers are closing up around you.} Neither of you have found the answer you were looking for tonight, @{(compassion < 55) but maybe, just maybe, you feel a little better for having articulated the questions.|and you can't help but think the whole thing was a waste of time.} *finish Next